


Desolation Row

by Navajo_Woman



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Cutting, FTM Castiel, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Transgender, pot use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:31:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6252610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Navajo_Woman/pseuds/Navajo_Woman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a FTM transgender. He works in a record store, where he meets Dean. They begin a tenuous relationship. Cas is attacked after work one night and Dean cares for him. When Dean wants Cas to live with him, Cas freaks out. Dean refuses to give up on Cas no matter what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one darker than the other FTM transgender story I wrote. All is not peaches and cream in their lives. The attack scene is sort of graphic but not completely so. But if you're triggered by these things, better to skip it.

Cas took a long pull on the pipe and let the smoke just surround his head. It was the last of his pot and he intended to enjoy it.

He could still hear his mother’s shrill voice yelling at him from earlier. ‘If you’re not going to school, then get a fucking job. You ain’t just gonna lay around here eating up all the food and staying stoned all the fucking time.’

So he needed to get a job. Maybe he could find one that paid enough for him to get out of this fucking shit hole. Now that would be awesome.

 

Cas was on his period and that make him touchy as well. He hated it. It was the monthly reminder that he was trapped in this fucking female body when he was really a man. Life had screwed him and he was one angry motherfucker.

 

There weren’t that many places Cas could even apply to. With his black hair with purple highlights, his lip ring and ear plugs, his torn jeans and classic rock T shirts, he wasn’t exactly office material or a good candidate for customer service. So he started at fast food places, which universally rejected him, then on to book stores and finally, record shops. He finally found a job at a tiny record store that specialized in classic rock.

They told him if he worked out, they would give him a raise in two months, and then he’s be making enough to get an apartment.

 

 

Cas started on a Monday. He tried to wear decent clothes. At least his jeans weren’t torn. He listened to the boss drone on and on about how the cash register worked and what to do if this happened or that happened and on and on. Finally, he left Cas alone and he began to look at the vinyl. This guy had a fabulous collection of classic rock albums.

 

The bell over the door rang and Cas looked up. The most beautiful guy Cas had ever seen walked in and smiled at him. Cas smiled back and secretly adjusted the soft dildo he had in his pants to make it look like he had a cock.

“You must be Mac’s new employee. Hi, my name is Dean, and I guess I’m his best customer.”

Dean held his hand out to shake Cas’. Cas came around the aisle he was in and shook hands with the guy. Cas was staring at him and he tried to look away, but it was like tearing his eyes away from the Mona Lisa or some fucking thing. Man, this guys was something.

 

“So,” Dean continued, “I ordered an album awhile back and Mac called me to say it was in. Can you check for me? My name is Dean Winchester.”

“Uh, Sure.” Cas went to the spot where Mac said he put the special orders behind the counter. He found the album quickly.

“Is this it?” Cas held it out for Dean to look at.

“Sure is.” Dean grinned. “How much do I owe you?”

Cas looked at the sales slip and told Dean what it said. Dean handed him the exact change and Cas put the album in a bag. He really hated to see Dean leave. But if this guy really was Mac’s best customer, then he’d be back.

Dean smiled at Cas and left. Cas had to steady his breathing for a moment. Dean was stunning.

Of course. He’d never be interested in a punk tranny like Cas even if he was gay. Nobody ever was.

 

Cas had been working for Mac for a month and things were going pretty good. Then the bell rang and Cas looked up. In came two of his biggest tormenters from school. They were a big part of why Cas quit in his junior year.

They looked around and saw Cas.

“Hey look, it’s the fag tranny. We wondered where you went, dick-less. And here you are. Wow, it must be our lucky day.”

They converged on Cas. Cas was angry but there was no way he could take on both of them.

“Get the fuck away from me.”

They laughed and pushed Cas down. Cas jumped up and was just about to swing on them when…

 

“What the fuck do you two pencil dicks think you’re doing?”

They turned and faced Dean.

“Stay out of this. This is between us and the tranny.”

Dean smiled at them. “You know, that is a very offensive term. I think you owe Cas an apology.”

They laughed until Dean grabbed one of them by the arm, twisted it behind his back and escorted him out of the store. Cas pushed the other one out. They glared at Dean but they walked away.

 

“Uh, thanks, man.” Cas was mortified by the fact that they had ‘outed’ him in front of Dean.

“You’re welcome. They were just a couple of dickless bullies anyway. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sort of used to them by now.”

Dean just looked at Cas for a moment. Then he turned and started to look at albums. Cas sighed, knowing that he never had a chance with Dean anyway so what did it matter that Dean now knew he was transgendered?

 

Dean had picked out three Pink Floyd albums and took them to the counter. Cas began to ring them up. When he was done, he looked at Dean and gave him the total. Dean was staring at him. Cas was uncomfortable, thinking it was because he was trans.

But then Dean said, “Would you go out with me? Like, on a date?”

Cas was thunderstruck. He couldn’t answer for a moment. It ran through his mind that Dean was fucking with him, but Dean really didn’t seem like that kind of person.

Finally, Cas stuttered, “Uh… yeah… I mean… yes, I’ll go out with you. If you really mean it.”

Dean looked confused. “Why would I ask you if I didn’t mean it?”

Cas looked down. “Well, if it was some kind of a joke…”

Dean swore. “Fuck that would be cruel. So. I’ll pick you up here when you get off. What time is that?”

Cas answered, “Uh, I get off at six.”

Dean said, “Fine, I’ll see you then.”

And he left. Cas just stared at the door.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have a first and second date.

Cas went into the bathroom and found the razor blade he had hidden in the back of the medicine cabinet. He sat down and pulled up his shirt. He pulled him jeans down a little and found a good spot. He sliced into his side, just feeling the pain and the burn. It helped. He was out of weed until the end of the week and he needed some kind of help to make it through the day and through the date.

Cas was incredibly nervous and that usually equaled hurting himself. He really had no other way of dealing with shit in his life. He was very aware of how fucked up this was, but there it was never the less.

 

After he got the bleeding stopped, he went back out to work.

 

Cas watched the clock like it was going to start talking or something. The afternoon seemed to drag so badly, Cas was tempted to go cut again. But finally, it was fifteen minutes till closing.

Cas went into the bathroom again. He rinsed his mouth out and tried to do something with his hair. He was about as ready as he was going to get.

 

Dean walked in. He smiled at Cas and Cas smiled back. Fuck that guy was amazing. He took Cas’ breath away.

“Hi, Cas. How has the rest of your day gone?”

Cas took a deep breath. “Uh, fine. Slow. You know, the usual.”

Dean nodded. “You ready?”

Cas just said he needed to lock up and then they could go.

 

Cas grabbed his jacket and locked the door. He turned to Dean. Dean said, “I thought we’d go get something to eat, if that’s okay with you.”

Cas nodded and Dean guided him to his car.

Once they were in the car, Cas turned to Dean and said, “Hey man, I gotta ask. This isn’t your ‘gay man wants a roll in the hay with a tranny just to see what it’s like’ deal, is it? Because if it is…”

Dean interrupted Cas. “Fuck no. Why would you even ask me that?”

Cas snorted. “Dude, I get a lot of that.”

Dean just shook his head. “That’s fucked up. Now, do you like cheeseburgers? And are you old enough to drink?”

“Uh, yeah, I love cheeseburgers and no, I’m not old enough to drink legally.”

Dean shook his head again. “Fuck, you’re young.”

Cas laughed and they were off.

 

They were in a booth at a small diner that advertised the ‘world’s best burgers!’

Dean told Cas that they really had some awesome burgers. Cas ordered a bacon cheeseburger, fries and a sprite. Dean did the same.

While they waited for the food to come, Dean asked, “So you really get hit on by a lot of guys just looking to say they slept with a transgendered person?”

“Yeah. A lot. That is the brunt of my dating experience, really. You are shaping up to be my first actual date. Flattered?”

Dean looked completely shocked. “Your first real date? Holy fuck. No pressure there.”

Cas grinned. “Relax. You could pretty much try to murder me and it would be a success.”

Dean laughed heartily.

While they were eating, Dean asked Cas how old he was.

“Twenty. So close to drinking age but not quite. So let me ask you two questions. First, how old are you? And the second but all-important question, Why me? Why did you ask me out?”

Dean grinned. “Okay. I’m twenty-five. And I asked you out because you’re really handsome and seem really interesting.”

Cas looked thoughtful. “But you know I’m trans and still you asked me out?”

Dean looked slightly irritated. “Will you let the whole trans thing go? I really don’t care one way or the other. Stop making it such a big fucking deal, okay?”

Cas was mystified. “Uh, yeah, okay.”

After they ate, Dean suggested they go for coffee. Cas agreed and Dean drove to a coffee place he knew, where they could sit outside. It was a beautiful night.

They discussed music. They had very similar tastes. Dean told Cas about his sound system which included a vintage turntable. Cas was anxious to see it.

After they had a couple of cups, Dean said he needed to call it a night because he had to get up for work. This led Cas to ask what he did. Cas was completely shocked when Dean said he was a teacher.

“What grade?”

“I teach at the junior college actually. English.”

 

Cas really was blown away.

Dean drove him to his apartment. In the car, he asked Cas if he could take him out again. Cas smiled and told Dean hell yeah. Dean asked what Cas was doing Friday night and they set up the date.

Cas was really happy.

 

 

Cas was also happy that he got paid and made a connection with his dealer. Now he had an QP of the good stuff, a job and a date. He wasn’t on his period anymore. Life was really looking up.

 

Work was easy. He got to listen to good music all day and get high in the back. Finally, Friday rolled around and Cas was excited to see Dean. He still went in the bathroom and cut, just to take the edge off things.

Dean walked in right before closing time, looking fantastic. He had on tight button fly jeans and a Henley that matched his eyes.

He smiled at Dean and Dean’s stomach fluttered.

Dean asked Cas if he wanted to see a movie. Cas said he would love to. Dean ran down the possibilities and Cas picked The Revenant, partly because it had Leonardo DiCaprio in it. Dean thought it sounded great, so off they went.

Once they were there, Dean bought a huge tub of popcorn, sodas for each of them and some chocolate bars to share. They found seats towards the back and settled in.

Dean glanced at Cas every once in a while and smiled. Cas was sitting with his eyes glued to the screen, and occasionally his hand tightened on the arm rest. The popcorn was long gone and most of the chocolate.

Dean put his arm around Cas’ shoulders. Cas looked surprised but allowed it. A little later, Cas put his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean tightened his arm on Cas’ shoulder.

When the movie was over, they walked to Dean’s car. Dean suggested a place where they could listen to music and Cas agreed. Since they really couldn’t get into a bar because of Cas’ age, Dean went to a club that catered to underage and people who didn’t or couldn’t drink alcohol.  The guy who ran it was a friend of Dean’s.

  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have another date but Cas gets pissed off. He gets dead drunk and Dean has to take care of him.

Dean introduced Cas to the club owner, Bobby Singer. Dean introduced Cas as ‘my boyfriend, Cas Novak’ Cas looked at Dean strangely, but Bobby just shook his hand and said how glad he was to meet Cas.

“Been hearing about you all week. Dean seems smitten.”

Dean told Bobby to shut the fuck up and that no one says ‘smitten’ anymore.

Cas was giggling.

They went to a booth and ordered sodas. Dean put his arm around Cas’ shoulder again.

 

“So I’m your boyfriend, and we haven’t even knocked boots yet.” Cas grinned at Dean.

Dean looked at Cas very seriously. “I don’t have to fuck you to know I like you, Cas. And yeah, I’d like to be your boyfriend.”

Cas looked confused and kind of scared. “Uh, look, dude, I’m not very good boyfriend material, you know? I wasn’t kidding when I told you that was my first real date. I’m kind of a mess.”

Dean sounded irritated. “I really don’t care that you think you’re not good boyfriend material. I think you are. You need to try to stop cutting yourself down, Cas. Oh, and I’m really proud to have been your first real date.”

 

A slow song came on and Dean pulled Cas onto the dance floor. He put his arms around Cas’ waist and pulled him in close. Cas put his arms around Dean’s neck and they swayed to the music. When the song was over, Cas just looked up into Dean’s eyes for a moment. Then Cas kissed Dean.

It was a fairly innocent kiss. But Cas had never actually kissed someone he really liked before, so he was doing his best. Dean tightened his arms around Cas and kissed him back. They were brought back to reality by a loud, fast song coming on.

Dean led Cas back to their booth. Dean asked Cas if he was ready to get out of there. Cas nodded.

Dean drove them back to Cas’. They didn’t talk. Cas was convinced Dean wanted to fuck him. He was kind of excited about it.

When they were inside Cas’ living room, Dean sat down. “Cas. I think we need to talk a little bit.’

Cas was completely confused. He sat down on the couch.

“Cas, I really like you. I feel like people have treated you like crap. I hate it for you. Cas, are you a virgin?”

Cas was angry and embarrassed. “Which hole, Dean? Cause I’ve had like eight guys in my pussy. But none in my ass, so I guess I’m half virgin.”

Dean looked shocked and then he got angry. “Damn it Cas, why do you have to be so touchy?”

Cas looked down at his feet. “Dean, no one has ever been so nice to me. No one has ever shown a real interest in me. I guess I just don’t know how to act.”

“Well, get used to it, Cas. I really like you, although god only knows why.” Dean grinned to show he was kidding. Cas grinned too.

Dean stood up and said he was going home. “Can I text you tomorrow? Maybe we can do something.”

Cas agreed and said good night. He was sorry to see Dean leave.

Before he went to bed, Cas smoked a bowl and cut a little on his thigh.

 

Dean texted Cas the next day that he’s like to take him out again that night. Since neither of them had to work on Sunday, Cas was looking forward to trying to get Dean in his bed.

Cas didn’t cut at work that day. He was a little sore from the cutting he’d done the last two days and that was enough pain to get him through.

 

Dean showed up and took Cas for burgers again. Cas told him this was the best he had eaten since he left home.

“Why did you leave?” Dean thoughtfully chewed a fry.

“My mom was not exactly a candidate for mon of the year. She was a hooker to be honest. And she really didn’t like me being trans. It was just a bad scene.”

“Fuck,” Dean said, “That really sucks. What about your dad?”

“Uh, just some john.” Cas sighed.

“Holy fuck. I’m really sorry, Cas.”

Cas said he had come to terms with it years ago, but Dean wasn’t so sure.

 

After they were done eating, Dean suggested they go back to his place and listen to music. Cas jumped at that. He really wanted to see Dean’s sound system, and he figured Dean would want to have sex with him.

Dean’s apartment was fantastic. Compared to Cas’, it was the Taj Mahal. Dean’s sound system was everything Dean had told Cas it was. Cas loved it.

Dean put on some classic rock and they sat on the couch listening.

Cas scooted over next to Dean. Dean put a hand on Cas’ and soon, they were kissing. Cas opened his lips for Dean’s tongue this time and it was amazing.

After they had kissed for a bit, Cas jumped in Dean’s lap and began to open Dean’s jeans.

Dean grabbed Cas’ hands and told him to stop. Cas was confused but he stopped.

“I’m not going to fuck you tonight, Cas. I want to get to know you better.”

Cas saw red. Really, he was terribly embarrassed but it manifested as anger.

“Take me home.”

Dean tried to talk to him but all he got was, “Take me home. Now.”

 

Dean did. But as Cas was getting out of the car. Dean grabbed his wrist and said, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Cas didn’t say anything.

 

 

Dean’s phone rang and woke him up. He looked at the clock and it read 2:45. Sighing, Dean answered.

“Dean? Man, I’m sorry but I didn’t know who else to call. Cas is here. He’s so drunk he passed out. He almost got raped by a couple of guys but I broke it up. I mean, I had to turn him on his side to keep him from pulling a John Bonham.”

Dean jumped up. “Fuck. I’m coming. Thanks for calling me, Bobby.”

 

Dean walked in and Bobby met him at the door. He led Dean to the back room, where Cas was laying. Besides being drunk, Cas had obviously been cutting on his arm. In short, he was a complete mess.

Dean went to Cas and tried to wake him up. “Cas. Cas. Wake up, Come on, it’s Dean.”

Cas mumbled, “I want Dean to fuck me but he won’t.”

Dean sighed. He picked Cas up. Cas put his arms around Dean’s neck and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I love Dean. He’s so pretty. I love his bowlegs.”

Dean just said, “Shut up, Cas.” He carried his out and put him in the car. He put the seat belt across him and got into the driver’s seat.

Dean drove home. When he got there, he picked Cas up again and carried him to his bedroom. He laid Cas on the bed on his side. He got a trash can and put on the floor near Cas’ head, covered him with a blanket and went to sleep on the couch.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns more about Cas. Cas admits to burning himself in the past.

Dean was up drinking coffee when he heard the unmistakable sounds of Cas throwing up. Smiling to himself, he walked back to his bedroom.

Cas was hanging over the side of the bed, violently throwing up in the trash can. He looked horrible. He was white as a sheet, sweaty and holding his head as if it were going to break.

Dean just stood there until Cas seemed to be done. Then we walked over, not saying a word, and took the trash can out to clean it. Cas just lay in the bed, quietly groaning.

Dean brought the cleaned trash can back in and sat it near the bed. He then went out and came back with a couple of aspirin and a big glass of water. He handed these to Cas and said, “Take them and drink all the water.” Then he left the room.

About forty-five minutes later, Cas came out into the kitchen. He had rinsed his mouth and washed his face but he still looked awful.

“Uh, I guess I should thank you for coming to get me. And I’m uh… I’m sorry for making you have to come and get me and let me chase you out of your bed. You should have put me on the couch.”

Dean just looked at him. Then he said, “Cas, sit down.”

Cas sat at the table. Dean gave him another glass of water. Cas sipped it.

Dean sat down opposite him. “Cas, what the fuck happened? Why did you do this?”

Cas looked down at the table. “You upset me. I just didn’t know what to do with the feelings.”

Dean sighed, “I absolutely believe that, and thank you for being honest. Now, damn it Cas, you can’t ever do this again. Do you know some guys tried to rape you while you were passed out? Bobby saved you.”

Cas looked ashamed.

Dean continued. “I fucking care about you. I really do. But you have go to get over this self-destructive thing you have. You scare the hell out of me. And I know you’re cutting. I think you need some counseling, Cas.”

Cas looked scared. “I don’t want to, Dean. I’m afraid of them. They’ll put me away.”

Dean just looked at Cas. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. But fuck, Cas, I need you to try and take care of yourself. If you feel like you need to cut, fucking call me on the phone. You got that?”

Cas nodded.

“And just for the record, I really do want to fuck you, Cas. I just wanted to get to know you a little better first. I want us to have a real relationship.”

Cas began to cry. “I’m sorry Dean. I’m so sorry. I’m a complete fuck-up. It’s just… no one ever treated me this way before.”

Dean got up and walked to Cas. He pulled Cas up and held him. He pressed himself up against Cas and just held him tight. Cas cried a little then stopped and just laid against Dean.

Dean took Cas to the living room and sat him on the couch. Dean sat next to him. He kissed Cas, who opened his mouth so Dean could push his tongue in. Cas clung to him and he just kissed Cas for a while. It never went any further but the kissing was amazing. Dean sucked Cas’ lower lip into this mouth, and bit it lightly.

Finally, he broke away. Cas was completely breathless. Dean stood up and told Cas to take a nap. Cas agreed and went into Dean’s bedroom and laid down. He was asleep in moments,

Dean sat in the kitchen and tried to figure out what the fuck he was doing. Cas was a train wreck. But Dean just couldn’t walk away. He really cared about Cas. Really cared. But he just had to get Cas to take care of himself, to actually care about himself.

Later, Cas came out, looking sleepy but better. Dean asked him if he felt like he could eat anything. Cas made a face but agreed to eat some soup. Dean was heating it up for him when Cas said, “I really loved the kissing, Dean. I really do want to do better for you. I’m not sure I know how, but I want to.”

Dean fixed Cas the soup and watched him eat it. He gave Cas a glass of Gatorade to drink.

Cas said he needed a shower. Dean got him a couple of towels and some clean clothes to put on. Cas went into the bathroom and took a long hot shower. He came out and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

He put on boxers, then looked around and finally found his binder. He used it to hide his breasts. He was putting it on when Dean walked in the room.

Cas hurried and fixed the binder in place.

Dean was staring at his hip.

“Fuck, Cas. How long have you been cutting?”

Cas looked down and answered, “About twelve years.”

Dean looked completely shocked. “You started cutting when you were eight?”

Cas just said, “Yeah.”

Dean turned around and went back to the living room. Cas finished getting dressed. Dean’s clothes were a little big on him but they would do. Cas was very nervous about when Dean saw the burn marks on his inner thighs. And he would see them, Cas was sure. He wondered if he should just come clean and tell Dean everything now.

 

In the living room. Dean was sitting on the couch and Cas sat there too.

Cas took a deep breath and started. “Uh, Dean. I know you’re upset by the scars and shit from where I cut. Well, I… I have more scars. They’re uh, well, they’re on my inner thighs.”

Dean looked sad. “From cutting?”

Cas looked ashamed. “No. They are from when I used to burn myself with cigarettes.”

Now Dean looked horrified. “Okay. You used to burn yourself with cigarettes on your _inner_ tights? Why? Why the hell would you do that?”

Cas looked straight at Dean. “Because it was close to my vagina. I hated my vagina and I wished it was a cock. But it wasn’t. And I hated it so I burned myself close to it. I never actually had the guts to burn right on my vagina. But I thought about it a lot.”

Dean just stared at him. “And do you still hate your vagina that much?”

 

“I don’t like it, but I learned to live with it. I’ve been fucked in it and it isn’t all bad. It’s not what I want, but that’s what happened, so I learned to live with it.”

 

“Fucked by guys who just wanted to say they fucked a tranny?”

 

“Yeah. But at least I wasn’t alone for a night. At least that.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have sex.

Dean was angry, sad and horrified by just how much Cas was hurting. And, had been hurting for years. Cas had never actually gotten a break, and Dean was not about to walk away and hurt this guy again. He really cared for him and just wanted Cas to heal.

Cas groaned. “Fuck, I wish I had my weed right now. I really could use a bowl.”

 

Dean smiled and said, “yeah. So could I.”

 

Cas never looked more shocked in his life. “You smoke weed?”

 

“Upon occasion. I’m not a choirboy, Cas.”

 

Cas shook his head. “Will wonders never cease.”

 

Dean laughed.

 

Cas asked, “So, where do we go from here?”

 

“You spend the night here again. I’m not ready for you to go home alone, it scares me. Tomorrow, I guess we’ll just see. Now, want to watch a movie on Netflix?”

Cas grinned and headed for the living room.

 

They cuddled on the couch and watched a couple of episodes of _Sense 8._

Then Dean started kissing Cas. Cas responded and got in Dean’s lap. He straddled Dean’s thighs. Dean kissed Cas deeply, and explored Cas’ mouth with his tongue. Then he ran his teeth along Cas’ bottom lip and Cas moaned.

Dean was hard and Cas could feel it. He rubbed his crotch on Dean’s full cock, and Dean groaned. Dean sucked and bit a spot on Cas’ neck while Cas rubbed himself on Dean. Cas had his arms around Dean’s neck and Dean was holding Cas’ hips tightly.

Then Dean just stood up. Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist and Dean grabbed Cas’ ass to hold him up. He walked to his bedroom.

When he got there, he sat Cas down. He stared at him for a moment and then, he started to undress him. Cas just stood there while Dean took off his clothes. Dean had a moment’s trouble with the binder but Cas helped him get it off.  He looked shy when Dean pulled down his boxers but Dean didn’t notice. He just picked Cas up and laid him on the bed.

Cas watched while Dean stripped. When he got down to his boxers, Cas stared at the way Dean’s cock tented them. Then Dean pulled them off and his very thick, very hard cock sprung free. Cas stared at it and smiled.

Dean crawled over Cas. His cock drug against Cas’ belly. Dean nipped and kissed along Cas’ throat and then moved to Cas’ nipples. Cas moaned loudly when Dean sucked and nipped on them. Soon they were rock hard and standing up. Dean thought they were beautiful. Cas had large, dark areolas.

Dean moved down. When he got to Cas’ vagina, he paused. Cas stiffened, afraid that it put Dean off, but in reality, Dean was really turned on.

He pushed Cas’ legs far apart and began to suck and lick Cas’ clit. Cas arched his back off the bed and said ‘Fuck.”

Dean didn’t let up until Cas had come. And Cas did, hard and loud.

Then Dean moved down to Cas’ asshole. He licked over that and Cas made a sound in his throat that delighted Dean. Cas pulled his legs up high and held them. Dean stuck his tongue into Cas’ hole and Cas moaned and pushed against Dean’s face.

Dean sat up and got lube from the bedside table. He lubed up his hand and then Cas’ hole. He gently pushed one finger into Cas. Cas’ eyes got wide and he smiled.

Dean asked, “So, no one has ever fucked you here before?”

Cas answered, “No. No one.”

Dean smiled at him and fucked the finger in and out. Soon there were two fingers and Dean was working Cas open. Cas was thrashing his head back and forth and he had a fist full of sheet.

Finally, Dean figured Cas was as open as he was likely to get. He rolled on a condom and lubed it up. He moved up over Cas and put Cas’ legs on his shoulders. He pressed the head of his cock against Cas’ hole and Cas moaned.

“Yes. Please, Dean, yes”

Dean pushed the head into Cas. Cas gasped. Dean waited for Cas to relax as much as he could, then he pushed in until he was fully in. Again he waited.

Cas was groaning and moaning, then he pushed against Dean. Dean took that as a signal and he pulled back almost out, then pushed back in.

Cas mumbled, “Oh fuck. Fuck Dean it’s so good…”

Dean fucked Cas, in and out, push and pull, just feeling how good it was inside Cas, how hot and tight.

Cas was tightening up on Dean and that just drove Dean over the edge. His thrusts became erratic and then he pushed in and came. He came so hard he saw blackness. He just said, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Over and over. Then he put his head on Cas’ chest and Cas touched his head,

He pulled out and took off the condom, throwing it in the trash can and lay down next to Cas.

Cas put his head on Dean’s chest. Dean put his arm around Cas. They lay there together for a bit. Then Dean said, “Was it like you imagined. As good as you hoped it would be?”

 

Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean. “Better. Dean it was so much better than I ever thought it could be. And I have to ask, where did you learn to eat pussy like that? You are, well, amazing.”

Dean grinned. “First, I’m really happy that you liked your first time. Next, dude, I’m bi, not gay. I’ve eaten out many a woman. I know my way around a clit.”

Cas laughed. “You sure do. And I just assumed you were gay. If you’re bi, you like guys too?”

“Oh yeah. I prefer guys. But I swing both ways.”

Cas just smiled and laid back down on Dean.

They slept. Cas slept better than he had in a long time.

Cas woke first, He had to piss so he got up. He went and pissed, then looked at himself in the mirror. He looked sort of haggard, but he looked and felt happy. That was really new.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut and fluff. Dean takes Cas back home.

Cas went back into the bedroom. Dean was awake and looking at him.

“I had to piss. Sorry.”

Dean just pulled back the covers so Cas could get back in the bed. Cas climbed in.

Dean kissed Cas.

“I really, really like you, Cas Novak. I need to know you’re safe when you’re not with me. I need to know I can trust you not to be hurting yourself when you’re not with me. We have to have some ground rules here.”

Cas just nodded.

Dean looked at Cas deeply. “First and foremost, I need to know you’re not going to pull anything like you did two nights ago. That was dumb and you almost got hurt. So, no getting drunk, okay?”

Cas nodded.

“Next, no more hurting yourself. No cutting, no burning, no nothing that hurts you. You have got to call me when you feel like you need to. Unless I’m actually teaching a class, I promise to answer. If I’m teaching, leave a message and I’ll call you back in a hurry. But you don’t get to hurt yourself while you’re waiting. Got it?”

Cas nodded again.

Dean hugged Cas. “All I ask is that you honestly try.”

  
“I will.”

 

Cas moved down and took Dean’s cock in his mouth. Dean gasped and his head fell back. Cas licked the head and stuck his tongue into the slit. Dean groaned. Then Cas sucked on the head and ran his mouth down until he had all of Dean in his mouth. Dean’s cock was in the back of his throat but he didn’t gag. He just swallowed and Dean moaned in a very filthy way.

Cas ran his tongue around the base and then sucked back up. His tounge ran along the underside of Dean’s cock, teasing the vein that was there. Cas touched Dean’s balls and touched under them. Dean was moaning loudly.

Then Dean grabbed Cas and pulled him off. He pushed Cas down on the bed and pulled Cas’ legs apart. He put his mouth on Cas’ clit and licked and sucked it until Cas cried out and came, pushing on Dean’s face.

Then Dean got lube and lubed up Cas’ asshole. He rolled on a condom. He moved over Cas and thrust his cock into Cas. Cas gasped at the sudden pain, but wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist. Dean held long enough for Cas to relax and the pain lessened. Dean began to fuck Cas.

Dean thrust and every time he did, Cas met the thrust with one of his own. The had a good rhythm going, with Cas meeting every thrust and holding while Dean pulled back. Cas was completely lost in the feeling of Dean inside him.

Dean told Cas to touch himself. “I want you to cum for me, baby. Touch your clit.”

Cas did. He ran his fingers around it as he had so many, many times before. Soon, Cas was coming.

Cas arched his back and said, “Fuck, Dean… fuck, fuck, fuck…”

Cas’ hole tightened and released and tightened again on Dean’s cock and that drove Dean over the edge. He came too… hard. His cock moved and twitched in Cas.

Finally, he softened and pulled out. He took off the condom and threw it away. He just laid down with Cas in his arms. Cas sighed and moved closer.

 

They got up to eat something. Dean cooked and Cas ate, feeling better and a lot less hung over. He told Dean that sex was the best cure for a hang-over he’d ever had. That made Dean laugh.

They ate scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. Cas actually ate everything, which pleased Dean and he told Cas that.

“Hey, I eat. It’s just usually something you can microwave or comes in a can.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “That is not food, Cas.”

Cas just grinned and took a bite of toast.

 

They watched more Netflix, cuddled up on the couch together. Dean had an arm around Cas tightly, as if he was afraid Cas would just disappear.

Cas fell asleep before the end of the show, and Dean just let him sleep. He watched another episode and held Cas. Cas drooled on him a little and he smiled, thinking it was really cute.

Cas woke with a start. He sat up and wiped his mouth. He saw where he had drooled on Dean and looked very embarrassed. Dean just smiled.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep. You should have woke me up.”

Dean said, “I didn’t want to. You looked so peaceful and you needed the sleep.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean.

 

Dean sighed, “We both have to go back to work tomorrow. I guess I need to take you home later. Understand, I don’t want to. But we just have to. I’ll be by to pick you up when you get off work, okay?”

Cas frowned but nodded.

Dean smacked Cas’ ass. “Don’t pout.”

Cas giggled.

 

Dean fixed dinner for them. He made a chicken dish that had pasta and veggies in it, and garlic bread. Cas ate like a starving man.

“I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me like this.”

“You’ve got a long way to go before you’d get fat, but I’d love you fat, too.”

Cas looked up at Dean.

“Yeah, I said love, and I meant it.”

Cas just said quietly, “I love you too Dean.”

 

It was time to take Cas home. Cas sighed sadly and got in the car.

Dean drove him back to his apartment. They sat in the car together for a while, not talking.

Then Cas said, “I better go.”

Dean grabbed his face and kissed him. “Be good. I’ll pick you up tomorrow after work. I love you.”

Cas clung to him and said, “I’ll be good, I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He got out and went inside his apartment.

 

Inside, Cas just lay down on his bed. He put his hands behind his head and just smiled. He was still sort of amazed. Three days ago he was getting dead drunk because he was so unhappy. Now he was in love with an amazing man who loved him back. It was fast, sure, but Cas felt very sure of Dean.

Dean made him feel safe, and he hadn’t felt safe in his life, ever. It felt wonderful.

Cas fell asleep after setting his alarm to get up for work.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is attacked after work. Dean takes care of him.
> 
> Trigger warning: rape

Cas worked all day with a smile on his face. Even Mac noticed.

The day sort of drug but Cas never cut. He had promised Dean and he intended to stick to it.

Finally it was closing. Cas was just turning out the lights when Dean walked in. Cas ran up to him and they kissed, A lot.

 Cas broke away and said, “Just let me close up, okay?”

 

Once the door was locked, Dean led Cas to the car. Buckled up, they roared to Dean’s.

Once there, Dean pulled Cas to him for more kissing. But then he said he needed to fix them some dinner and they went to the kitchen. Dean set Cas to work buttering French bread while he made spaghetti. They sat down and Cas ate everything again.

Cas groaned. “It was so good!”

Dean just grinned at him. It did his heart good to see Cas eat.

 

Cas helped Dean clean up. He was at the sink rinsing dishes when Dean came up behind him.

“Been thinking about you all day, baby.”

Cas turned and Dean pulled him into a fierce hug. They kissed and then Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and led him to the bedroom. Cas stood while Dean stripped him and then he laid on the bed and watched Dean strip.

Dean crawled over him. He kissed Cas, his tongue invading every part of Cas’ mouth. When their tongues touched, it was like lightening hit Cas. Dean moved down to suck on Cas’ nipples. He mumbled around one, “I love your nipples., baby. They are beautiful. Then he went back to work on them until they were hard. Cas’ breath was short.

Dean put his mouth on Cas’ clit.

Cas moaned, “oh god, Dean… fuck… it’s so good…”

Dean never stopped licking and sucking until Cas had cum, literally screaming, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Dean smiled while he got lube. He put on a condom and lubed it up as well as his other hand. He put two fingers in Cas and listened to him gasp. He fucked them in and out, and then added a third. Cas’ eyes got big and he pushed back against them.

At last, Dean pushed Cas onto his stomach. He spread Cas’ leg wide and got on top of him. He thrust his cock into Cas and never paused until he bottomed out. Cas groaned and pushed his ass up. Dean pulled back until just the head of his cock was in Cas, paused a heartbeat and plunged back in. He kept up a hard rhythm and Cas moaned and grabbed the sheet in his fists.

Dean needed to make this last. He had been fantasizing about fucking Cas all day and now that he was, he needed it. He needed Cas so badly. Every time he felt himself getting close, he would slow down and take deep breaths. He managed to keep this up for a while.

But eventually, his orgasm overcame him. He felt it in his balls and there was no stopping it. He pushed in as far as he could get and just held there, feeling it roll over him. He shot over and over again. It really took his breath away.

He just collapsed on top of Cas. He struggled for breath, Cas just lay there. Finally, he rolled off and pulled the condom off. He was sweating.

Cas looked at him questioningly. He just grinned and said, “That was awesome.”

Cas grinned too. “It really was. You are amazing.”

Dean kissed him and said, “No, baby, you are.”

Cas cuddled up to Dean. “I wish I didn’t have to go home.”

Dean said sadly, “Yeah, me too.”

 

But he did have to go home. Eventually he got up and they both got dressed. Cas got in the car and Dean drove him home. In the car at the apartment. Dean kissed Cas and told him he’s be there again after work the next day. Then Cas got out and went in to go to sleep.

 

Cas had another good day at work. He was so excited to see Dean at the end of the day.

But an hour before closing, Dean texted him and told him that he had a faculty meeting and couldn’t pick Cas up. He told Cas he would meet him at Cas’ apartment about an hour after Cas got home.

Cas was terribly upset but still he didn’t cut. He just did his work and then locked the door at closing time. Since Dean wasn’t coming, Cas packed up a couple of packages to be mailed the next day. It was late when Cas started for the bus stop.

 

Cas was walking along when a strong arm drug him into the alley. A big man was breathing rapidly in Cas’ face.

Cas was scared. “Uh, let me go. I won’t say anything, just let me go.”

“Not a chance, fag. I intend to teach you a lesson.”

And with that, he hit Cas in the face. Cas went down and hit his head on a dumpster. He saw stars.

When he came back, the guy was pulling down his pants. Cas started to struggle for all he was worth, but the man had a death grip on him.

When Cas’ pants were down, that’s when the guy discovered Cas’ flexible dildo and that he wasn’t really a guy.

“What the fuck? What is this? You’re a cunt? Fuck. I’ll teach you to pretend to be a guy.”

And he hit Cas over and over. Cas was in a total daze of pain.

Then the guy grabbed Cas’ dildo and shoved it painfully into his vagina. Several times. Cas felt more pain than he knew was possible. The man punched him again and got up and ran away.

Cas was in so much pain but he pulled his pants up and got up. He was ashamed and horrified. He just limped back to the shop and unlocked the door. He ran to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was a mess, bloody and cut. His lip was split. Cas just sunk to the floor and started to cry.

Then he remembered the razor blade. He looked for his phone, only to find it broken. He started to slice his side brutally. He cut and cut and it just didn’t help.

He had no idea how long he laid on the floor of the bathroom. He heard Dean yelling.

“Cas? Cas?”

Dean found him on the bathroom floor. He just stood there in complete shock for a moment, then he sat on the floor and pulled Cas into his lap.

“Cas. What happened? Who did this to you?”

Cas just cried into Dean’s shirt.

Finally, he whispered, “He hurt me so badly, Dean. He hurt me.’

Dean got scared. “He raped you?”

Cas shook his head. “Just with my dildo but it really hurt.’

Dean wanted to take Cas to an emergency room but Cas flatly refused.

“I don’t know what he looked like, I’m just a tranny. No one cares, Dean. Please, just take me to your place.”

Dean relented. He helped Cas to stand up and heard him wince. It killed Dean.

 

Dean helped Cas into his apartment and took him straight to the bedroom. He made Cas lie down. First he cleaned Cas’ face up as best he could. Then he undid Cas’ jeans. Cas looked petrified.

“I have to look, Cas. I have to.”

Cas let him pull off his jeans and boxers.

“Jesus, Cas, you’re bleeding. You need a doctor.”

“NO.” Cas pulled away from him.

Dean gently looked at Cas’ vagina. There were small tears he could see. He wanted to kill. He was so enraged he couldn’t even speak.

He cleaned Cas and did what he could. Then he just held Cas, who fell asleep.

 

Cas woke up to Dean on the phone. “Yeah, he won’t be in for at least a couple of days, Mac. Yeah. Thanks.”

Then Dean called in to work. “I need you to take my classes for at least a couple of days. I need some personal time. Yeah. I’ll call you. Thanks.”

Cas just laid there. Everything hurt.

Dean walked in with a couple of pain killers and a glass of water. Cas winced when he tried to drink from the glass with his split lip. Dean swore and left, coming back with a straw.

He sat down on the bed next to Cas.

“You don’t remember anything about what this guy looked like?”

Cas just looked away, “Only that he was really big and had a growly voice. He hit me too quickly.”

Dean sighed. He wrapped an arm around Cas.

Cas started to cry again. “Dean, my phone’s broken. And my dildo is gone.” Cas was sobbing.

Dean lifted Cas’ face up to look at him.

“I’ll buy you a new fucking phone and a new dildo if you still want one. They’re just things, Cas. You’re what’s important. Just you.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wants Cas to move in with him but he won't,

Dean made some soup for Cas and sat and watched him eat all of it. Cas winced every time he put the spoon in his mouth, which was swollen from the split. But he ate and Dean was proud of him.

Dean put Cas back in bed and told him that he was going to a pharmacy to get more stuff to treat Cas’ injuries. Cas nodded and laid back. He drifted off to sleep before Dean left.

Cas was still sleeping when Dean got back. Dean let him sleep. It broke Dean’s heart to see what some asshole had done to Cas. He wished he could get his hands on the guy.

Then Cas woke up. He smiled at Dean with half a mouth. Dean kissed him very gently on the side of his mouth that was okay.

“I have to put some cream inside you, Cas. We can’t let things get infected. You understand?”

Cas nodded but looked very, very unhappy,

Dean pulled back the covers. Cas’ vagina was swollen and looked very sore. The last thing Dean wanted was to hurt him more, but the talk he had with the pharmacist had told him he just had to.

Dean spread Cas’ legs and made him bend his knees. He opened the tube of cream and put a bunch on his middle finger. He very gently put his finger up inside of Cas.

Cas sucked in a huge breath, obviously hurting. But Dean rubbed the cream all around inside of Cas, then took his finger out.

Cas was crying silently. Dean wanted to kill the guy even more than he did before.

“Oh Cas, I’m so sorry. I hate hurting you.”

Cas looked at him. “It’s okay, Dean. I know you’re just trying to take care of me.”

Dean gently hugged Cas.

He put ice on Cas’ face. Cas hated it but it would help the swelling so he tolerated it.

 

Dean laid on the bed next to Cas and held him. Cas leaned into him and Dean put an arm around him.

“Cas. I love you so much. I just hate that this happened to you.”

“I love you too, Dean. And shit happens when you’re a tranny.”

Dean hated that word.

 

Dean had to put cream in Cas four times a day. He really needed ice down there too, but Dean couldn’t bring himself to suggest it.

Cas slept a lot and ate soup another time. It was a long day for Dean.

 

 

Dean fixed them some dinner. He made some pasta that would be easy to chew. They ate together in bed.

Then Dean took the plates away and came back. He laid down with Cas.

“Cas, I need to talk to you about something.”

Cas looked worried, so Dean hurried and said, “it’s nothing bad. It’s just that I hate when you call yourself a tranny. I hate that word. You are so much more than just a transgendered person. You are amazing and beautiful and someone I love very much. It hurts me when you call yourself a tranny.”

Cas looked serious. “I’m sorry, Dean. It’s just how I’ve always seen myself and what my mom always said about me. I love you too and I’ll stop. But you really think I’m beautiful?”

Dean grinned from ear to ear. “You are so beautiful you take my breath away.”

Cas blushed.

“But” Cas said, “I really wish I had a cock. A real one. And a beard. And I wish my voice was lower.”

Dean sighed, “I know, baby, and maybe we can get you on hormones. But you probably won’t ever have a real cock, you know.”

“I know. But I can wish.”

Dean smiled at him and said, “Yeah you can wish. But you know I love you just the way you are, right? No beard. No low voice. Just you.”

Cas cuddled in to him. “Yes, I think I know.”

“I wish we could fuck.” Cas looked at Dean.

Dean said, “But we can’t. Baby, your vagina has to heal up better before we can.”

Cas pouted.

Dean smacked his ass. “Stop that.”

Cas giggled.

 

Cas slept through the night. Dean was up and down all night, checking on him. Dean was so worried because Cas wouldn’t see a doctor. But Cas seemed okay.

Actually, he was much better when he woke up. His facial bruising was turning yellow and the swelling was about gone. His cuts had scabs and his mouth was better. When Dean checked his vagina, the swelling was about gone and he didn’t wince as much when Dean put the cream in him.

Dean was very encouraged,

He had a talk he wanted to have with Cas.

After breakfast, Dean sat Cas down.

“Cas. I want you to move in with me. I want us to live together.”

Strangely, Cas looked terrified. “No. no, I can’t do that. I just can’t.”

Dean was completely mystified. “Why? We are a couple. We love each other. Living together is the next logical step.”

Cas started to cry. “I can’t. You don’t understand, I just can’t”

Dean got upset. “Why? You have to give me one good reason why.”

Cas just shook his head.

Dean had to leave the room, he was so mad.

 

Later, when he had calmed down, he tried again.

“Cas, do you love me?”

Cas nodded. “I love you more than I can even put into words.”

 

“Do we have good sex?”

 

Cas looked shy. “Of course we do. You know we do.”

 

Dean tried not to raise his voice, but he did just a little.

“Then tell me why you won’t live with me.”

 

Cas looked stricken. “I’m not good enough. You would hate me in no time. It would ruin everything.”

Dean looked completely confused.

“Cas, why would you say that? Of course, you’re good enough. I could never hate you. Where is this coming from?”

 

Cas looked completely defeated. “My mother always told me I was no good. That any boyfriend I ever had would end up hating me. That I am crazy and no one could ever put up with me.”

Dean saw red. “That’s bullshit, Cas. She is just crazy herself and just mean. She didn’t understand you and so she said hateful things that aren’t true.”

 

Cas looked at him “But they are true, Dean. I’ve had boyfriends before you and they all ended up hating me. I’m no good to live with. I don’t know how to do it right. Please, if I live with you, you’ll hate me like everyone else.”

Dean didn’t know how to convince Cas that they were different. They were special. So he decided to let it go for just a bit. But he was determined. He had to make Cas see himself as a good person, a person deserving of good to happen.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas moves in with Dean. Smut and the end.

Dean spent time on the Internet while Cas was sleeping. Eventually he found exactly what he was looking for.

It was a transgendered support group for young adults. It promised support, counseling and that they tried to improve self-esteem in those who felt bad about themselves. There was a meeting the next night.

When Cas woke up. Dean told him that Dean was taking Cas to this meeting. Cas started to protest and Dean cut him off.

“No Cas, you need this. I need this. If we’re going to make it, you have got to get better self-worth. You have to learn that you are so much more than your genitals. I need you in my life and I can’t have you if you keep putting up walls like you not wanting to live with me. You don’t see it, but it really hurts me that you won’t move in. You are going and that’s that.”

Cas looked shocked and then sad. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ll go.”

 

The next day Cas was better than the day before. He got out of bed and dressed. He ate what Dean fixed for them. His vagina was healing nicely.

Than night Dean drove Cas to the meeting. He walked Cas in and said he’d wait for him.

Cas walked in slowly, sort of like he was going to his own execution.

 

Cas came out an hour later. Not only was he smiling, he was chatting happily with another person.

“Dean. Dean this is Charlie. He’s awesome.”

Dean walked up and shook hands with a breathtaking redhead with a goofy smile.

“I’m happy to meet anyone that makes Cas smile.”

Charlie grinned. “I’m happy to meet you too. The way Cas talks about you, you’re close to the second coming of Jesus.”

Dean just looked at Cas, who was smiling big. “I love Cas very much. He’s very important to me.”

Cas hugged him.

They left with Cas promising to call Charlie the second he got a new phone. Which reminded Dean he needed to guy Cas one.

 

When they got back to Dean’s, Cas looked shyly at him and said, “I’m healed up enough.”

Dean grinned and said, ‘Yeah, baby I think you are too.”

 

They were in bed naked. Dean was kissing Cas deeply, using his tongue to invade Cas’ mouth and their tounges played with each other. Cas was wiggling his hips.

Dean moved down to pay homage to Cas’ nipples. They were big and had large dark areolas and Dean loved them. He sucked and nipped on them and Cas moaned.

Then he had his mouth on Cas’ clit. Cas gasped and groaned as Dean worked it. He licked and sucked until Cas was coming really hard. Dean thanked the stars that he had really grown to love doing this. He just loved every single part of Cas, and wanted to pleasure him in every way possible.

He lubed up his hand a worked Cas open. Cas was really tight from then not having sex for several days. Cas pushed against his fingers and whispered, “Oh fuck, It’s good… so… fuck…”

When Cas was open, Dean put on a condom and lubed it up good because he really didn’t want to hurt Cas at all.

He gently slid in. Cas groaned and pushed to get more of his cock inside. Dean pushed in all the way and held for a bit, to allow Cas to relax. Cas grunted and pushed against him. “Fuck me now.”

Dean did. He fucked Cas gently at first, but Cas said, “Harder, Dean. Fuck me hard.”

Dean increased his speed and pushed in and out harder. Cas had his hands digging into Dean’s sides and was moaning and making sounds that really turned Dean on even more.

“Will you touch yourself, Cas? Make yourself cum again for me?”

Cas reached down and played with his clit, He ran his fingers in and out of his slit and soon, he came, yelling.

That was it for Dean. He came hard, and left his cock in Cas until it just slid out. He laid down next to Cas and pulled his face in for a kiss.

“Love you Cas.”

Cas beamed at him. “Love you too.”

 

Then next day, Dean took Cas to work. He made Cas promise several times to never leave the shop and to wait until Dean came to pick him up. And no cutting. Cas promised every time. Dean went out and bought Cas a new phone and brought it to him before he went to work himself.

Cas was thrilled and hugged and kissed Dean a lot of times. He put Dean’s number in it while Dean watched him do it. Then he added Charlie’s number. Dean went to work.

During lunch, Cas called Charlie. They chatted for a bit. Then Cas asked Charlie what he thought about Dean wanting him to move it. Cas told Charlie how he felt about it and why he said no.

“Cas, you’re wrong. I love you, but you are so wrong. Everything that anyone said to you in the past is just that: in the past. It doesn’t mean shit to a tree. Dean loves you, dummy. He took care of you when you got attacked and he never once gave you a hard time about it. He never put you down or lectured you about it. Leave the past in the past. Make a future with Dean.”

Cas thought about this all afternoon.

After work, Dean came to pick him up. He just kissed Dean and whispered in his ear, “Yes.”

Dean pulled back and looked in Cas’ eyes. “You mean it?”

Cas smiled at him. “Yeah, Dean. I mean it. I’ll move in with you.”

Dean lifted Cas and whirled him around. “Cas, I’m so happy. Baby, what made you change your mind?”

Cas told him what Charlie had said.

“I owe Charlie a big hug at least.” Dean laughed.

 

Dean took Cas to his apartment and they got Cas’ stuff, which was not a lot. Just some clothes, a few books and a ceramic angel. Dean asked Cas about it, and he said, “I always felt like I had an angel watching over me.” Dean actually got choked up.

Cas had very little in the way of clothes and Dean decided that he would take Cas clothes shopping on Saturday. The only other thing Cas had was a very large dildo. Cas blushed. “I don’t need that anymore. have you.” Dean chuckled.

 

So Cas was moved in. Dean asked Cas what kind of prosthetic he needed for his jeans. Cas thought about it and just said they could wait to get something, he wasn’t ready. Dean was surprised but didn’t ask.

 

A few days later, Dean sat Cas down for a talk.

“Baby, I really think you should go back to school. You are smart and you can really make something of yourself. Please, consider quitting the record store and going back to school. You could go to the junior college and gat an AA degree in something. I’ll pay for it.”

Cas was taken aback. He never considered school. But he promised Dean he’s give it serious thought.

 

A few days later, Cas made up his mind. He wanted to become a counselor for trans kids. He told Dean that he would go back to school. Dean was so thrilled he couldn’t speak for a little bit. Cas gave notice at the record store and signed up for classes.

 

**Three Years Later**

Cas and Dean were at their wedding reception. They danced a lot, ate wedding cake and laughed a lot. All their friends were there. It was a wonderful night.

When they got home, Dean scooped Cas up and carried him over the threshold. Cas clung to his neck.

Dean was happier than he ever thought he could be. Cas was counseling at risk trans kids and Dean had just gotten tenure. He was married to the man of his dreams.

Cas had given up on the idea of taking hormones. He had learned that it really didn’t matter how others saw hoy, it only mattered how you saw you. As long as you knew who you were, that was all that mattered. Dean was so proud of him, it just made his heart sing.

They had a wonderful wedding night, filled with orgasms and love.

Love enough to last a lifetime.

 

 


End file.
